Smile
by Wingless-I-Fly
Summary: They were two completely different people. He was the egoistical jerk with all the money and power in the wizarding world. While she was a nobody, an outcast. No body EVER stood up to him, until he crossed paths with her.
1. Life is like a box of chocolates'

_**Smile**_

**Do not own**

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><p><strong>Summary: They were two completely different people. He was the egoistical jerk with all the money and power in the wizarding world. While she was a nobody, an outcast. No body EVER stood up to him, until he crossed paths with her.<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter One: 'Life is like a box of chocolate's…'<strong>

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was considered one of the best wizarding schools in the world. Consisting of 4 houses—Gryfinndor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin—it housed some of the moist famous wizards ever.

Currently Hogwarts was having its annual beginning of the year feast. For some it was a new beginning full of wonderfully magical things and for others it was sadly the last year they'd ever be able to have an annual welcome back feast.

The 7th years were anxious and frightened to leave. They weren't blind they knew what was going on around them. They knew all about 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' aka Voldermort and his cowardly band of Death Eaters. This fact has made the traditional hate between Slytherin and Gryfinndor and the more tension filled.

Sitting at the Gryfinndor table happened to be the four most adored boys in all of Hogwarts—James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. Everybody loved them, mostly because they were all considered the richest bachelors in Hogwarts.

They're families were so rich and powerful that they could do and say whatever they wanted and they would never be reprimanded. The teacher's couldn't punish them, and the boys knew it. They used to this power and money to their advantage. They treated everybody who didn't have a remarkable amount of money like their person slaves. But nobody cared, and those who did didn't have the balls to stand up to him or her. Until they messed with the wrong person.

You see witches, in the wizarding world were always considered to be bellow wizards. To wizards, witches were only put in the world to please them and tend to their every need. But that was about to change. Seventh was one of tears, courage, friendship, and death. What you are about to read is considered the most remarkable wizarding tale ever.

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><p>Lily Evans blew a piece of her bright red hair out f her face. She sighed when it just fell back into place and proceeded to put it up into a high ponytail. She was sitting all alone at the very end of the Gryfinndor table she was pushing her food around on her plate. She wasn't in any mood to eat right now, if anything she just felt like wandering through the Forbidden Forest as she did almost every night.<p>

Lily was unlike all the other witches in Hogwarts. She was her own person. She didn't pile on make-up (in fact she didn't wear any), she didn't feel like she had to 'dress up' for anybody other than herself, and she was brave. It was all the things, plus her blood heritage and lack of money, that kept her from having any friends. Anybody who was anybody knew that Lily Evans was a freak and NOT someone to associate with.

A little further up the table sat the Marauders. Their usual gang of clingy bitches surrounded them, though they definitely didn't seem to mind the attention. Lily scoffed and turned back to playing with her food. If it weren't for the fact that she was forced here—by Dumbledore of course—then she wouldn't be here.

Lily Evans was never one to follow the rules or care what people think of her, but when it came to her Headmaster… let's just say he's done a lot for her. Lily quickly blocked out all thoughts on _that_ particular matter and sighed sadly. She was so focused on not thinking about things that she failed to notice that Dumbledore had finished his speech and people were starting to leave.

Thankfully nobody ever paid attention to her so she could stay as long as she wanted and nobody would even notice she was gone. It was a sad yet comforting thought; the fact that nobody cared meant she could never be hurt again. And that is all she cares about.

She trudges her way down the opposite hall that all the other Gryfinndors were walking in. She wasn't going back to the common room, not now. No, Lily was going to one of the only places where she knows nobody would ever find her. The fact that she's technically not allowed to be there makes it all the more appealing for her.

As the chilly fall wind hits her she suddenly wished she had brought her coat, or the blanket she would usually bring with her when she went on her nightly strolls through the Forbidden Forest. In all honesty the forest really wasn't as frightening as it looks, at least not to Lily.

Lily let out a strangled breath as she entered the forest. She almost let's one of _those_ memories consume her, but she thought better of it. After about two hours of walking she finally decided to head back. It was nearing 9:00 and even though she knew that she'd never be caught by a teacher patrolling she had this eerie feeling someone was watching her, and in the Forbidden Forest that is a really bad thing.

Within a few minutes Lily was outside of the portrait hole. She smiled at the singing woman before muttering the password and walking in. She wasn't all that surprise when the noise enveloped her. It wasn't all that hard to figure out where 75% of the noise was coming from.

The Marauders seemed to be a having a really good time entertaining the female population of the Gryfinndor house. Almost as if they felt her gaze, Remus looked up at her confusingly. Ignoring his gaze she slowly made her way up the girl's staircase. She entered her dormitory and silently thanked the boys for entertaining her roommates, as she would have the room to herself.

She changed out of her school robes and into some comfortable pajama's. They were mid-thigh blue cotton pants and a baggy gray tee shirt with a cute smile on it. She sat on her bed and desperately tried to think of something to do. It was now 9:30 and a few of her roommates have already retired.

Since she couldn't think of anything else to do she grabbed her favorite blanket; the only material thing her blood father ever gave to her. She didn't even know who he was, and she really didn't feel the need to. She grabbed her battered copy of _The Hobbit_ and went down to the Common Room. It was pretty much deserted, besides the Marauders, Frank, Alice, and a few other people from the Marauders fan club. Everybody besides Alice was on the left side of the common room near the portrait entrance. Alice however had her own book and was lying on the floor near the fire.

Alice is actually Lily's best friend. They met in first year when Lily stood up for Alice against some older Slytherin boys. Alice, not caring about what other people said about Lily quickly became her friend. The only reason Alice didn't eat dinner with Lily tonight was because she caught some sort of cold on the train and had been sent to the nurse. Knowing about Lily's late night escapades she had stayed out with the book waiting for her to come back. She didn't think to check that she had come back early.

Lily immediately sat beside Alice, and when she saw her Alice shrieked and tackled her with a giant bear hug. They didn't even notice when all the other people across the Common Room turned to look at them. Lily laughed and hugged Alice back. Alice finally pulled away with a big grin on her face and slapped Lily on the arm.

"I can't believe you were up in the dorm this whole time!" Alice screeched the others were still watching them.

" Where was I supposed to be?" Lily feigned innocence. If it had been anyone else they would have bought it, but this was Alice. She gave her a disapproving glance before dropping the subject and for some reason Alice face turned into a forlorn expression, an expression that Lily knew all to well.

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><p><strong>Lily's Point of View: <strong>

" It'll be okay Ali," I whispered to her friend trying her best to comfort her. This past summer Alice had lost her mom due to an unexpected Death Eater attack. She was devastated, for 3 weeks I was the only person she would talk to. I saw this same look on her face everyday and it killed me knowing that my best friend was going through so much pain and I couldn't help her.

" I know I just… why her, Lily? Why?" I was dreading this question for I didn't know how to answer it.

" I don't know why, Alice. But what I do know is your mom was the best person I've ever met. She has been my mother too over these past 7 years and I know the pain you feel right now must be 100 times worse than I'll ever feel but I need you to know that I'm here for you. I love you Ali, you're my sister. You just need to find the way back into Wonderland and you'll be okay." She let out a little laugh through her tears at my stupid joke.

" Look at me, I'm a mess." She said as she wiped her eyes clean and blew her nose. I laughed at her and shook my head before waking her lightly with my paper back book.

It was then that I felt their presence, their stares. I looked over Ali's shoulder only to see five pairs of eyes looking back at me. I saw Potter stand up with a wicked grin on his face and make his way in our direction. I knew that whatever he had in mind wouldn't be good, and let's just hope that it doesn't get me too mad.

Alice didn't seem to notice the sudden attention we were receiving. Instead she was still to focus on cleaning herself up. Potter was now right next to us and I looked past him to see the rest of them wearing confused and concerned glances at Alice and I.

" Well, well, well if it's isn't freak and freakier." Potter sneered. Is this dude serious? Did he not just realize that Alice was just crying her eyes out over her dead fucking mother?

" Shove off, Potter," I growled at him. Normally I would have ignored him, but this time he went to far.

" Ohh! Did Carrot-Top finally grow a back bone?" I threw him the bird before turning back towards Alice who again was beginning to look sad. Great Potter! Way to go, you just ruined all my progress.

" Did you really just dare to flick me off, Evans?" Potter said angrily.

" Potter are you sure those glasses of yours work? Because I thought it was pretty clear what I did. But just in case…" I flipped him off again this time standing up in front of him and shoving it in his face. I heard everyone—Alice, Frank, Sirius, Remus, and the chubby fellow—all gasp.

If I thought Potter was mad before then now he could just give Hades a run for his money. Potter had the steeliest look on his face I've ever seen before. He looked about ready to punch me out he probably would too. He took a step forward so our faces were only a few inches away and started speaking in the deadliest voice I've ever heard.

" Nobody, I repeat nobody tells me off Evans. You might have missed the memo Evans, but trash like you shouldn't be in the same room as someone like me, nevertheless telling me off. Now I'm going to give you one chance to apologize, and then after that you'll have hell to pay." Alice sent me a worried glance, but I let my foot lightly touch hers in and 'it's going to be okay' gesture. In all honesty I was pissed, beyond it actually.

" Listen here Potter, you do not control me. Maybe everyone else is willing to fall to your feet but I'm not. I through with you treating people like scum on the bottom of your shoe. It's people like you that make me sick. It's people like you that make me wonder which is better you or those damned Death Eaters." Potter then did something I didn't expect he grabbed my waist and pulled me as close to him as possible. I was really starting to regret my changing into my pajamas. With his lips only millimeters from mine I could feel his hot breath on my breath as he spoke.

" Don't you dare compare me to a Death Eater. I will never sink so low as to judge someone over his or her blood heritage. I may be a lot of things but I'll be damned if anybody ever compares me to one of those things!" His voice was in a deadly whisper and for one second I felt a wave of fright rush through me but I pushed it away.

I pushed Potter away from me and crossed my arms over my chest. I looked around the room at everyone and they were looking between Potter and I with scared expressions on their faces. I finally looked back at Potter and saw him looking at me with anger, regret, and guilt? I finally snapped out of my gaze and I felt the anger rise in me.

" If you don't want me to compare you to one, then don't act like one. Stop treating people like they're shit because guess what their not!" I screamed at Potter. His eyes softened as he looked at me and I saw a strange emotion pass through his Hazel eyes, but as soon as I saw it, it was gone.

" I only treat people like shit, when they are shit." He sneered at me. I heard Alice gasp bellow me and I just knew tears were currently residing in her eyes. That thought made me so angry I knew I was going to blow it soon.

Potter went to far we all know what he was not to subtly hinting at. He was saying Alice and I were nothing but worthless shit that he has every right to throw around. It was then that I lost it I walked right up to Potter and punched him dead in the face. Alice quickly stood up and grabbed on to me before I could cause any more damage, because trust me I would've.

Potter was holding on to his now broken nose, blood was spurting out of it like a waterfall. He looked at me incredulously.

" Why'd you do that!" Potter screamed. I simply smirked at him and answered with one of my favorite quotes.

" Life is like a box of chocolate's, you never know what you're gonna get. Remember that Potter the next time you want to imply that my friend and I are nothing less than shit."

With that I pulled Alice up the stairs to our dorm, leaving 5 gaping boys behind me.

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><p><strong>Did you like it? I didn't think it was that bad but leave a comment!<strong>


	2. One Jump Ahead Reprise

_**Smile**_

**Do not own**

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><p><strong>Summary: They were two completely different people. He was the egoistical jerk with all the money and power in the wizarding world. While she was a nobody, an outcast. No body EVER stood up to him, until he crossed paths with her.<strong>

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><p><strong>Thanks for reviewing!<strong>

**Princesschloe72-**

**I'm really glad that you love it! Hope you continue to love the rest!**

**Reading-the-world—**

**I was sick and tired of the same old boring bookish Lily. And to me the movies and books didn't do enough justice to James and Lily. So I just want to write a different more creative type of story about my favorite couple. As for James loving Lily, he knows he feels something for her but he doesn't understand them (almost like Lily).**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: One Jump Ahead (Reprise) <strong>

I just punched James Potter?

I just punched James Potter.

I JUST PUNCHED JAMES POTTER!

I really just did that, didn't I? I'm nit just having one of those glorious dreams where I break his nose because I really did break his nose. What the fuck has gotten into me? Why would I break his nose!

Then I started to think about Alice and the look on her face and how he so easily called us nothing more than a piece of worthless shit. I could feel my blood pumping through my veins again. I wanted nothing more than to go down there and lay another solid punch on him.

Alice was already sleeping soundlessly in the bed to the right of my own. Once we got back she claimed she was really tired and she had to go to sleep before she passed out. Really I knew she would spend the next hour crying, whether it was over her mother, or Potter, or both. All I knew is that I really didn't want to have to see my friend like this any more.

I pulled on my hair and let my head fall face first on the pillow. I let out a little scream of frustration before turning on my side and blowing out my candle that was placed on my nightstand. After blowing it out I just laid there a few moments thinking about tonight's many events.

From my midnight walk, the eerie feeling that I was being watched, Alice breaking down in tears, and the Potter Punch. What I really wanted to know was why Potter came over anyways. I'm pretty sure that in all my 7 years at Hogwarts he's never willingly talked to Alice or I.

Finally, I managed to fall asleep. But as the deep slumber took me the only thing I could see was Potter's Hazel eyes and the strange emotion he held inside them.

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><p><strong>Jame's Point of View:<strong>

Did she really just punch me?

She really just punched me.

SHE JUST PUNCHED ME!

I couldn't stop myself from watching her as she left. The way her long red locks flowed down her back, I wanted nothing more than to run my hands through them. Wait, what did I just say? No. NO! I can't be thinking of ANYONE that way nevertheless Evans.

Yeah Evans is just a really ugly hag who needs to be taught a lesson. I could feel my mate's eyes on me as I trudged up the stairs to our dorm. As I angrily sat down on my bed—the other's doing the same on their beds—I finally wiped the dripping blood from my nose and tried my best to ignore the searing pain that was rushing through me.

" That was fucking sweet!" Sirius finally said after a long silence. I shot him a deathly glare, but he didn't seem affected.

" Yeah so sweet that she broke my nose." I said sarcastically.

" Think about mate nobody has ever stood up to you nevertheless punched you. But here our wild redheaded friend comes in and soaks you dead in the nose. It was pretty entertaining to say the least." Sirius exclaimed. It seemed he was taking a real liking to Evans. I don't know why but at that last thought I clenched my fists and I felt my stomach clench as I thought of Sirius hugging her, kissing her, making love to her. No, he just meant it in a friendly way, right? Anyways if my best mate wants to shag Evans why should I care?

" You really upset her." Remus said stating the rather obvious. I rolled my eyes at him.

" I know that Moony, that was my whole plan. To aggravate her, tease her. I didn't think she'd fucking punch me! And about that I think the bitch needs to be taught a lesson." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. They were probably some of the cruelest things I've ever said to anyone. Remus, Frank, and Sirius sent me disapproving looks and Peter just nodded his head.

" What do you want to do? Punch her back James. I don't say this a lot James but this time you went to far. You shouldn't have said the things you said especially that! Lily is a person your personal piece of torture." Remus said to him.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I mean I knew what I said was wrong, everything I said, but I wasn't that bad. I knew when to draw the line, but obviously Evans didn't.

" Of course I'm not going to punch her Remus!" The thought of anyone, especially me putting a hand on her in any way shape or form made me angry. So angry I let out a little growl. The boys looked at me surprised. I don't blame them; I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm never this protective of anyone.

" Wait, does our Jamie Boy have feelings for the one and only Lily-Flower?" Sirius said teasingly. I could feel a blush coming and I desperately tried to hide it. But it was to late they all had already seen it. Sirius was currently doing a little dance and the rest of them were just starring at me.

I must say Jamie you know how to pick them!" Sirius said while dancing a little more. What did he mean by that?

" Sit down and stay still Sirius!" Remus said in an annoyed tone while pushing him down on the bed.

" I'm going to bed," I said while closing my curtains and blowing out my candle.

" Have a good sleep, Prongs! But do keep your dreams to yourself tomorrow!" Sirius said and I couldn't help but chuckle a little at his sick joke.

I ran my hand through my hair as I tried to fall asleep. I never should have gone towards them. I knew nothing good could come out of it, but still I had to honor that stupid bet.

After a while of thinking I finally hit the sack. All the while all I could thinks of was the look of determination in Lily's eyes as she told me off. I vowed that night before I went to bed that I'd do anything to see that look of beauty again.

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><p><strong>Lily's Point of View: <strong>

I woke up early the next morning to find everybody still asleep. I wasn't really surprised seeing as it was only 7:00 on a Sunday. I grabbed my hairbrush and quickly attempted to brush through my many knots. After about a minute I gave up and grabbed my muggle portably CD player.

Technically you weren't allowed to bring these, but what the hell I like my music. I put the ear plugs in and hit play. Almost immediately Phil Collins familiar voice sounded through the headphones. I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around myself and without even bothering to change out of my PJ's I headed down to the common room.

I wasn't surprised to see it deserted, but instead of taking my usual seat by the flaming fire I continued to walk out of the common room towards the Black Lake. I stood in front of it, my bare feet in the shallow end of the water.

My hair whipped in front of my face and I could taste the remainder of my vanilla/coconut/mango (I made it myself) shampoo. It made me hungry though. I was surprised when the next song that came on made me all the sadder. It was a song I knew all to well. Before Alice music was my only friend, this song in particular got me through a lot.

Ever seen Disney's Aladdin? Well you know that sing One Jump Ahead? Well the reprise of that song makes me cry and smile. It wasn't a coincidence that is comes on now when I need it most. After everything with Potter last night, those memories are becoming harder and harder to keep away. Potter's breaking down my wall and I don't like one little bit. I can't let him get to me like this, or I'll be ruined. Just like all those years ago…

All thoughts good and bad were pushed out of my head as the word started playing. I felt myself close my eyes and couldn't help but sing along softly.

_Rift-Raft, Street Rat._

_I don't buy that._

_If only they'd look closer._

_Would they see a poor boy?_

_No siree._

_They'd find out there's so much more to me!_

I let one tear fall, and I washed as it splashed into the Black Lake. It made me wonder how much of my tears this lake has after these last 7 years. I sighed and was just about to turn around when I felt a presence behind me. I could feel the eyes gazing at me from behind and I was almost to frighten to turn around.

Someone just saw me spill my heart out. Somebody now knows me more then anyone else. Somebody just broke my wall even more.

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><p><strong>Good? Bad? Tell me what you think! Usually I'd wait longer to update but I really like this story so I thought I'd update a lot sooner. But don't get used to it! Also if you haven't seen the movie Aladdin I highly recommend it! I'm a huge Disney fan, and you'll figure out just how much as the story goes on!<strong>


	3. Wise Men Say Only Fools Rush In

_**Smile**_

**Do not own**

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: They were two completely different people. He was the egoistical jerk with all the money and power in the wizarding world. While she was a nobody, an outcast. No body EVER stood up to him, until he crossed paths with her.<strong>

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><p><strong>Thanks for reviewing!<strong>

**Reading the world—**

**Thanks! I'm glad you like the secret feelings and the character's so far! Hope you like this chapter! **

**Princesschloe72—**

**Glad you still love it!**

**Barefoottoes—**

**I'm really sorry about the excessive use of vulgar language. I know I have sort of a problem with it, but just want to let you know I'm working on it. Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you like it!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: Wise men say only fools rush in<strong>

I turned around only to see the Hazel eyes I had been dreading to see since last night. The look in his eyes was unlike what I expected. Instead of the cold, lifeless stare he usually looked at me and other people with, he was looking at me with the softest expression on his face and his eyes were glistening from the sun's light.

To say it was a beautiful sight would be an understatement—not that I'll ever admit that to him. I couldn't look away; he had me in some sort of trance. His eyes… they… I don't know how to explain it. The best comparison I can make is he's the sun and I'm Earth, the gravitational pull between us is stronger then I can fight.

"You have a really good voice." He said a small smile enveloping his face. Maybe he isn't as bad as I thought he was?

" You heard that?" I said embarrassingly. I blushed and looked down at my bare feet and wiggled my toes in the cold water. He lifted my chin and once again his gravitational pull took control and I was frozen in place.

" It was beautiful, there's nothing to be ashamed about." He said softly while the hand that was once under my chin, now stroked my left cheek softly. I blushed again, but this time I didn't look down. His small smile turned into a grin when he realized I wasn't embarrassed by it.

" Thank you," I whispered softly while using my right hand to try and keep the hair from flying over my face. I cursed myself for acting this way around him; I don't even know why I'm acting this way around him.

He smiled at me again, showing off his sparkling pearly whites. It was then and there that I decided James Potter has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. It was also then and there that I realized that I liked him. Maybe he isn't such an ass after all?

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><p><strong>James Point of View: <strong>

My nose hurts. Like hell. I want to go to the Hospital Wing, but I know Madame Pomfrey will question me and I was not telling anyone that Lily Evans, of all people, punched me. I still can't believe it actually. And even though both Remus and Sirius protest against me getting revenge, I'm still going to do it anyways.

It was then, at no later than 7:00 in the morning that I heard the most beautiful sound ever. The soft melodic voice called to me. It was beautiful and enchanting, I could only imagine that the creature making it would be so as well.

I don't know if I was consciously or unconsciously walking towards the noise, but all I know is that I got there. It was then that I saw her. Her wild red locks gave her away like a strawberry surrounded by many apples. I knew it was Lily. The one person I had swore to heavens and Earth that I would do whatever it takes to take her down, was the one person that was taking me down.

I wanted nothing more at that moment than to take her in my arms and hold her and kiss her. I wanted her… I needed her.

I don't really remember what happened next all I know is that I talked to her and then I touched her. I grabbed her chin so I could get a good look at her bright green orbs and I told her just what I thought. Well not all that I thought, but you know that she has a beautiful voice and all.

From there my hand lingered on her cheek as it gently stroked it. It was then and there that I realized I loved Lily Evans for all she was. It was then and there that I swore I would do whatever it took to make her mine.

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><p><strong>Lily's Point of View: <strong>

It's been two hours. Two whole hours after the incident at the lake. In these two whole hours I been replaying everything he's done for the past seven years. Every cruel joke, every not so funny joke, and finally the cold lifeless glare that looked upon me last night. I never wanted to see that look on his face. I don't think I could take it.

Alice awoke and I knew she sensed something was off, but she never asked. Instead she sensed my need to be alone and went off in search of Frank, her not so secret crush. I let out a frustrated sigh and fell upon my bed. Because I couldn't just think about the bad qualities of James Potter, somehow every time I went to think about how much I hated him I would be reminded of his smile and his laugh.

In all honesty I was confused. Confused as to what I feel this way for anyone, nevertheless James Potter. Confused about how I hated him one moment and then in the next I wanted nothing more than to be able to call him mine. I seemed to be developing to alter egos: one who cared for James Potter and one who never wanted to see his face again.

I finally decided after hours upon hours of thinking that I'd give him a shot. I changed out of my pajamas into some jeans and a shirt and walked down the stairs to the Common Room. I didn't see him anywhere so I just assumed he had already left.

I practically skipped my way down to the Great Hall. Once there I quickly took my usual seat at the end of the table next to Alice. She grinned at me and started piling mashed potatoes on her plate. I followed suit, all the while my eyes scanned the hall for the familiar head of messy black hair.

I caught sight of him about 10 seats away from mine. He was launching a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Sirius's head obviously annoyed at something he said. I smiled at his playful antics and shook my head before digging into my own plate full of food.

Dinner passed by all to fast and I was planning on telling Alice about my feelings on the way back to the common room so I can see what she thinks. After that I plan on asking James to speak to him alone and well you know what happens from there. Alice and I walked out of the Great Hall arm in arm. She seemed all to pleased by my unusually chipper mood as she laughed and smiled along with me at nothing and everything.

" Alice I have to tell you something." I whispered to her. She turned to look at me while we were walking and grinned.

" Does this 'something' have anything to do with why you're so happy?" She asked knowingly, while she elbowed me lightly in the ribs. I laughed and nodded my head enthusiastically at her. I felt like a child, but I really couldn't care less.

" I like Jam—

Before I could finish my sentence I felt a cool breeze whipped pass me and something tingle at my feet. Alice gasped and put her hand over her mouth. I was shocked and it took me almost a minute before I collected myself and looked towards my feet.

Two different types of red was the first thing I picked up on. One a little brighter and more solid than the other. As I looked closer I realized what the two things were. The realization caused me to have the same reaction as Alice. I let out a strangled cry as I touched the back of my neck and confirmed it.

My once long, wavy red hair now fell an inch or two above my shoulder. My hair the only part of me that ever made me feel beautiful was gone. The only brag worthy part of me had been ripped away and to replace it was even curlier and more messy short bob of hair.

But that was only part of the redness. As I felt my neck again the warmness of the rushing liquid slipped through my fingers and landed with a slight 'plop' on the floor. It was my blood. There was a deep gash on the back of my neck, one that was most defiantly bound to leave a scar. I turned towards Alice and her once shocked expression was now mixed with anger and sympathy. But her glace wasn't cast towards me; no she was looking behind me.

I hesitantly turned my body around and I literally had to hold back the gasp pf surprise and anguish that almost escaped my lips. There with that awfully cold look on his face stood James Potter in all his glory.

He had one of his arms wrapped around Lexi Hampton, the prettiest and meanest Hufflepuff girl you'll ever meet. She had a wicked gleam on her face as she snuggled into his shoulder and glared at me. It all clicked then. He was playing me. All that stuff at the Black Lake it was all a lie to throw me off my guard. To make me believe he cared. I could see Remus, Sirius, and Frank behind him sending my sympathetic glances.

I gulped down a mouthful of saliva before turning back to look back at Potter who was spinning his wand in his hand. The bleeding on my neck still hadn't stopped and I saw him send a look that way. His eyes widened when he saw the gash and the blood trickling from it. I almost thought I saw his gaze soften, but I had to be wrong.

Blinking back tears I turned on my heel and walked away, not even realizing I was heading the total opposite direction of where I should be going. I let a few tears fall as I slipped from their line of vision. Once I saw the Forbidden Forest come into view I broke off into a run.

I could feel the trees scrape my body, leaving even more damage upon me. But none compared to the emotional damage James Potter had just caused me. None came even remotely close to how I felt when I saw him behind me with that evil look on his face. I felt betrayed, angry, and sad but most of all stupid that I fell for his game. That I fell for him.

I came across a little pond and I stopped and fell to my knees. After getting a good look at myself and letting out a disgusted cry I wiped my tears and let a hard expression cross my face.

For it was then and there that I swore that I'd never let James Potter anywhere remotely close to my heart again. It was then and there that I let my body fall into unconsciousness. So there I lay in the middle of the Forbidden Forest next to a little pond, my hair mess up and my body scratched and bruised. It brought back to many of those memories. It was then that I realized James Potter had just hurt me more than _they_ ever have or can.

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><p><strong>Bad? Good? Watch ya' think? Sorry about James, but you couldn't expect me to get them together so quickly now could you? Where's the fun in that? ;p<strong>


	4. Words I Couldn't Say

_**Smile**_

**Do Not Own!**

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><p><strong>Summary: They were two completely different people. He was the egoistical jerk with all the money and power in the wizarding world. While she was a nobody, an outcast. No body EVER stood up to him, until he crossed paths with her.<strong>

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><p><strong>Thanks for reviewing:<strong>

**Reading-the-world**

**James DID cut her hair off. Sorry for the confusion. I know James was a real dick and hopefully this chapter will sort of clear up as to why he felt he had to do such an asshole of a thing. Again I'm so happy that you like it and I promise to keep updating! **

**Apla- xamogelase**

**So glad you love it **

**Adriana-xx**

**I'm sorry for the spelling errors and the tense mistakes. I'll try to keep a better eye out for those things. And I know many people didn't like the way James just randomly claimed he loved Lily. But trust me when I say his feelings had been building up for longer than I wrote in the chapter, as you'll see soon enough. But him saying he loved her was necessary for the plot of the story. Glad you like it and thanks for the honest review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four: Words I Couldn't Say<strong>

**James's Point of View:**

I stared at her back as she ran away. Her now short hair was bobbing up and down. I felt Alex, or Alyssa, or whatever her name is snuggle even closer into my arm. I wanted nothing more than to shove her off me and chase after the sad redhead but I had to keep up my image. I could feel the cold glares penetrating the back of my head but I never took my eyes off if the hallway Lily had just left.

He heard the shuffling of feet and looks left to see Alice running of in the same direction as Lily. Oh how I wish it could be me running after her. But alas I'm too much of a wimp.

I had never meant to hurt her, just prove a point. When whatever her name is came up to me today and asked me if Evans really punched me I knew I had to do something. So I took action, I formulated a plan (not a very good one mind you) and put it into action. Sirius, Remus, and Frank told me how bad of an idea it was but I ignored them. They told me somebody would only ultimately get hurt and I didn't believe them. But I was wrong.

I did hurt Lily. Just thinking those words caused my stomach to turn in the most antagonizing way. I only meant to prove a point but when I caught sight of how much a simple chop of the hair affected her I knew I would regret it more than anything for the rest of my life. And to make matters even worse I saw the aftermath of the spell I used on her. I saw how the deep red blood fell ever so slowly from her neck onto the ground. I saw how deep the wound was and I knew it'd leave a scar. That I would leave a scar.

Isn't that what I wanted though? To hurt her? I knew, somehow I knew what the guys said was true and yet I ignored them and that awful feeling in my stomach, and now look what I caused. Only one person seems happy about this and that's the bitch that started it. It was with that last thought that the so-called bitch said something about going to tell everyone and skipped off.

Before the boys could tell me off I took a step forward, towards Lily's blob of hair and knelt next to it. I took the soft hair in my hands and could still smell her special scent coming from it. When I set the hair back on the floor I saw the blood on my hand.

_Her_ blood.

" How could you?" Sirius whispered, taking a step towards me. He had a deathly look in his eyes; one I've only ever seen when he was protecting Remus or I. I decided against interrupting him, knowing nothing good could come from it.

" What did she do to you?" Remus added in the same look of fury in his eyes. They must really care about Lily. That thought made my stomach churn even more. I didn't want anyone to think of my Lily in that way.

" Answer US!" Sirius screamed. I looked down, to avoid his gaze.

" I don't know why…" I whispered hoarsely. I could barely think let alone speak. Every time I went to do or think anything that look in her eyes when she saw me would suddenly cross my mind and I would panic. I'd start to think about what I'd do to whoever caused her that much pain and then I would remember that I caused that look and I would feel my cold heart ache a little more.

"You don't KNOW why? You just cut off Lily's hair, after leading her on and you tell me you don't know why?" Remus said while gesturing to her pile of hair on the ground.

" Why do you guys care so much anyways?" I whispered the same tone of anger in my voice. I need to know why they cared about her did they- god forbid like her like that?

"Because she's our friend! We care about her and YOU! I know you like to be accepted James but this is pushing it way to far." Sirius said finally calming down.

Sirius was right. I did care too much about what people thought, but I had good reason too. I really didn't want to hurt anyone, especially Lily. But when Alexia came up to me, I had to do something. It wasn't just what Alexia said though; it was what I was thinking about Lily.

I mean love? That's just too much for me. I-I can't love Lily; I don't want to love Lily. I won't love Lily. Without taking a second glance at the boys I broke off into a run down the hall. I needed to get away and I knew just where I was going to go.

** ...**

I had been running through the Forbidden Forest for more than a half hour and still I don't want to go back to the school and face everybody. I know it isn't very Gryfinndor of me to be running from my problems but I have to. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Two days ago, my whole life was in order everything was set in stone. But then Lily punched me. I little punch resulted in my whole world falling apart. In all honesty I've known for years that I felt something for Lily, but I'd never act on it.

Every time someone would make a cruel joke about her I would feel the protectiveness take control. I would want to do nothing more than punch them until they apologized, but I couldn't.

So here I was now running off the stress, trying and failing to get her face out of my mind. I felt my hooves hit the ground leaving a soft plopping sound as I ran even further into the forest. Did I mention I was in stag form? Well I am.

I continued running until I smelt something. Blood. Sweet, human blood. Humans can't smell blood but animals can, and so in turn I could. I took off running in the direction of the smell. I took me all of two minutes before I heard the faint sound of human breathing. I hesitantly took a step forward and looked down at the body.

It didn't take me to long to figure out whom it was. I mean between the hair, the cut, and her smell she wasn't that hard to figure out. It was Lily. She was laying there, so close to being lifeless that I felt the familiar quench of my stomach. She was here because of me. She very well could've hurt herself being out here this late in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. Was she stupid?

Without a second thought I changed back into my human form and picked her up in my arms. She was so cold and pale. I placed my hand upon the pulse on her neck and I picked up on a very faint heartbeat. I took off running in the direction of Hogwarts. I didn't care that by helping Lily I was breaking all of the rules I had just previously set up. I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was making sure Lily was safe and alive.

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><p><strong>It's pretty short and I'll admit I didn't like this chapter that much, but I really didn't know what to write. I tried to put as much of James's reason for hurting Lily in this chapter but it's very hard to explain without giving out major spoilers so I promise in some of the next few chapters you'll get a good look as to why James did what he did. I also skip around a lot in this chapter. All together this chapter was very bad and amateur like but it's necessary.<strong>


	5. The Reason

_**Smile**_

**Do Not Own **

**So I haven't updated in a while but I haven't given up on this story just yet.**

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><p><em>Without a second thought I changed back into my human form and picked her up in my arms. She was so cold and pale. I placed my hand upon the pulse on her neck and I picked up on a very faint heartbeat. I took off running in the direction of Hogwarts. I didn't care that by helping Lily I was breaking all of the rules I had just previously set up. I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was making sure Lily was safe and alive.<em>

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><p><strong>Chapter Five: The Reason<strong>

Bright lights.

Very Bright lights.

Even brighter lights.

God, cool it with the lights I'm starting to feel like a gremlin.

Wait, bright lights?

Oh Lord, I'm dead! I knew going into the forest was a bad idea! Alice always told me it would end up biting me in the ass. Well I guess it was one hell of a bite.

" Guys she's moving… and mumbling." I heard a voice say, very loudly I might add. Well either angels are really loud or I'm not dead after all. I felt a pair of warm hands brush a few strands of stray hair out of my face. My hair… dear Merlin isn't that the reason I'm in this mess?

No it's Jam—I mean Potter's fault. He cut my hair and my neck. I just don't understand why though? What did I do to him? I can't believe I thought for even a second that he was worth anything nevertheless that I might actually like him.

I think that's the reason I'm really mad though, because he fooled me. Broke me. And I let him. I just let him tear down my barriers and worst of all he made me believe that he gave two shits about me. I'm weak and defenseless now and it's his entire fault.

I felt my eyelids flutter open and I couldn't help but feel anger rise in me when I saw where I was and who was there with me.

...

James Potter.

Of all the people in the world who could be in my side, and it's not many—mainly Alice—, it had to be James Potter.

The infamous boy who cut my hair and neck. But even worse fooled me. He played me like his own little deck of cards. He used me and discarded me; he almost made me believe I was an Ace when all along I was a worthless 9—at most. Merlin I can't believe I thought I liked him when in reality I barely knew him.

I turned back to look—glare—at him, while he just looked down at his feet. There were so many things I wanted to do right now—wring his neck, give him a black eye, knee him in the cro—well you get the point. Instead I jut settled for my usual glare, which many have told me—okay only Alice told me—is pretty withering.

" I'm sorry," I heard a voice whisper. Those two words threw me off guard for a moment, but it was a very short moment.

"You're sorry? You're freakin' SORRY!" I said while sitting up. He looked startled by my response but he didn't back away.

" Lily— but I cut him off.

" Don't Lily me! After all you've done I'm surprised you have the balls to even look at me. I don't know what you're problem is, you must be bipolar or something considering your moods change like mine when I'm PMSing!"

" Lily I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be but—I cut him off again

" Mad? Mad? You think I'm MAD! I'm not mad Potter I'm enraged. I'm ashamed, and disappointed, and hurt. But I'm not mad. Mad doesn't even come close to what I feel right now. And in all honesty you being here is only making you're situation worse. So you might as well get out!" I screamed. I can't really believe he had the nerve to call me mad.

" Lily I need you to understand—

" Understand? Understand what Potter. What is you're lame excuse this time. What could you possibly say that would make up for all the shit you caused." At this point I noticed we were not alone. Alice, Remus, and Sirius had recently walked in and they were all sharing the same somber expressions.

" Lily just calm down and I'll explain!" He said calmly.

" No I won't calm dow—this time it was him who interrupted me.

" GOD DAMNIT LILY! I LOVE YOU!"

Two emotions ran through me after he said that: surprise and fury. He doesn't love me and I can't believe he'd even say such a thing. He hasn't even known me long enough to love me. And frankly I'm more than a little uncomfortable with his new profound fake love for me.

" Get out James." I whispered quietly. He was breaking me and I was about to burst.

" Lily… please." James whispered back.

" I said get out Potter." I turned my head away, trying desperately to keep myself from breaking down.

" Okay," James whispered. I heard his light footsteps echo throughout the room and the close of the double doors as he left.

I felt oddly satisfied and lost by his leaving, but I knew he had to leave. If not he would have broke me just like so many others have done.

…...

**James' Point of View:**

As I walked through the halls of Hogwarts, I couldn't help but think about how stupid my outburst was. What scared me the most however wasn't that I had shouted in front of everyone but the truth behind it. I loved Lily Evans. I loved her hair—short and long—, I love her laugh and smile—though they were rare—, but most of all I love her eyes. Her beautiful bright green eyes that tell every little emotion she feels.

I know I'm not a perfect person. And I know I've made a lot of mistakes. But I'll get Lily to see that I really truly love her. If I have to change I'll change. But she'll see in time, and that's all I can ask for is that see understand what I feel. I don't even need her to feel anything back, as long as she knows I'll be happy.

I found myself in front of the very lake Lily was singing at yesterday. Her purely sweet voice filled my head as I stared into the distance. My head began to spin and I started to remember a song that I once heard. It was a muggle song and I don't remember all of it but as I thought of it I found myself humming the melody.

**I'm sorry that I hurt you**

**It's something I must live with everyday**

**And all the pain I put you through**

**I wish that I could take it all away**

**And be the one who catches all your tears**

**That's why I need you to hear**

**I've found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

**I've found a reason to show**

**A side of me you didn't know**

**A reason for all that I do**

**And the reason is you**

And the reason is you…

….

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry for the excessive use of vulgar language, but I thought it sounded better that way. By the way the song is by Hoobastank and it's called 'The Reason'. **


	6. BlackBird

**Smile**

**Do Not Own**

**Previous Chapter :)**

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><p><em>I found myself in front of the very lake Lily was singing at yesterday. Her purely sweet voice filled my head as I stared into the distance. My head began to spin and I started to remember a song that I once heard. It was a muggle song and I don't remember all of it but as I thought of it I found myself humming the melody.<em>

_And the reason is you…_

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><p><strong>Chapter Five: BlackBird <strong>

** Third Person's Point of View :)**

The days passed quickly and quietly for the students at Hogwarts. Lily and James have been skillfully ignoring each other ever since their version of World War III took place. But even that wasn't the worse part. A few weeks after their "little diabolical" as Lily put it, the black birds started to arrive. Everyone remembers that fateful day when the unlucky third year received what would come to be the most frightening piece of mail any kid could receive.

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><p><em>Flashback... <em>

_ It was a normal morning at Hogwarts School of WicthCraft and Wizardry. All the kids, young and old, were happily or unhappily for some- James and Lily- eating their food. Meaningless chit chat was heard left and right along with the newest gossip like how Melissa Burkowh- a pretty fifth year witch- and Taylor Hugh- a former Gryfinnador who had graduated two years prior and now played on a famous Qudditch team- hooked up over the summer. _

_ It was precisely at 8:35 that fateful morning of September 19th that this one bird in particular swooped into the Great Hall. Everyone noticed the misplaced bird immediately because it was a black bird instead of an owl and because of the little note tied to the leg had a stamp on it that looked almost uncannily familiar to that of the Ministry's. All eyes followed the bird as it flew gracefully and beautifully through the hall. Though what many people may now have to say about those birds is bad at that time they were all mesmerized by it. _

_ The bird flew past the Gryfinndor and Hufflepuff table and came to a halt at the Ravenclaw table. The small black beauty stuck it's leg out to a surprised third year girl- whose name was Mindy Joseph. Her small dainty hands shook as they slowly unraveled the knot that tied the single piece of parchment to the birds thin leg. Once the note flew off the leg of the bird it again took off in a distracting flight back out of the Hall. After the bird had disappeared from sight, the students prying eyes turned back towards Mindy. _

_ Mindy, as well, had been to distracted by the birds sudden disappearance that she had almost forgot about the note in her hand. Her friend to the left of her gave her arm a slight shake to indicate for her to read the letter. After Mindy cast a scared look around the Hall she finally unfolded the little piece of paper. She and the others around her first took notice to the fact that this letter was indeed from the Ministry. Mindy's eyes quickly scanned the contents of the small piece of parchment and the water in her eyes fooled no one. _

_ For a small moment everyone in the Great Hall was silent. It was an eerie silence full of suspense, grief, and despair for their own Mindy Joseph. The person in turn however was as still as a statue. Then in one quick movement all of it came flooding back to her and she broke. The angry and sad sobs escaped her lips as she broke off into a run out of the Great Hall, Mrs. Mcgonagall not far behind. Most of the kids in the Hall sent questioning looks at each other, though some had already pieced together the tragic news. _

_ By the end of the day everyone knew that Mindy had lost both her parents- who were muggles- to a guy who called himself 'Lord Voldemort'. By the next morning when the post and two more black birds arrived people began to grow a little more worried, but most shook it off as some stupid streak of defiance. But how wrong they were. The days drug into weeks and the weeks passed into months as fast as the wind. The black birds became a daily occurrence to the Hogwart's population. But one thing remained the same every time they saw that small little black bird swoop into the hall everyone would grow quiet. Not a sound was to be heard besides the slight intake of breathe from every student when they saw the bird or the sharp let out of the breath when the bird lands in front of somebody else. _

_ As the seasons changed from Fall to Winter- or the end of November- this 'Voldermort' guy was now so feared that people wouldn't even utter his name in fear that they too would sooner receive heartbreaking news of the tragic end to someone you love dearly. Voldermort was now called 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' or'You-Know-Who' by everyone in the school besides the Marauders-excluding Peter- Frank, Alice, Lily, and Dumbledore. Everyone else, not just in the school was terrified of what power this man seemed to have over the Ministry, though the named particulars continued to deny it. _

_ Voldermort even gathered his own band of followers who were called 'DeathEaters'. Most of them were or are Slytherins. The worst part was that at this moment we had no way of knowing who was one or not, or more importantly what Voldermort looked like. What many people failed to notice however was the fact that while Voldermort had his own gang of fighters we had none. This fact didn't go unnoticed by Dumbledore or Lily, and that's why it was on that chilly day on November 28th that Lily headed towards her Headmaster's office, with one goal in mind... to get answers._

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><p><strong>Lily's Point Of View :)<strong>

I set down the long hallway full of twisting staircases and surprisingly quiet portraits towards Dumbledore's office. I don't know where this decision came form all I know is that this morning when the 250th, and yes we _all_ have been counting, showed up and yet another heartbroken peer ran out of the Hall that I realized that I owed it to myself, Alice, Frank, and everyone else who had lost someone so far to get answers.

It was last week actually that Alice got the horrifying look. But Alice she didn't even read it. She ripped it in half, which received more than a fair share of gasps mind you, then she walked out. Not ran, but walked. And it was at that moment that I remembered just why she was my best friend. She was by far the strongest person I had ever met. When I had asked her a few minutes later why she hadn't read the note she had told me it was because if she was going to get bad news it wasn't going to be from some fake letter from a person who obviously couldn't give two shits about who she had lost as they were to scared about losing their own. So she waited for a few more days until her parents sent her a tear stained letter telling her that her 20 year old brother, John had died at the hands of one of Voldermorts cronies. 

She then continued to cling onto me and cry herself to sleep as I sang her a soft lullaby. That was the most prominent reason as to why I stood in front of Dumbledore's Gargoyles at this moment. After muttering a quick 'Skittles' the gargoyles moved aside reveling a long spiral staircase which I proceeded to climb. I hesitated a moment, then I knocked.

"Come in," I heard Dumbledore's soft voice say from behind the door. He sounded so tired, worn out. He looked even worse, his eyes though they still held his famous sparkle weren't near as bright. And he looked as if he had aged 20 years over the course of one night, he know doubt looked like he felt... like we all felt.

" Ah Lily, I expected you would come soon enough." I smiled at him, genuinely smiled. He seemed to have that effect on people.

" You expected correct, as always." I said with a small smirk on my lips which quickly faded as I remembered why I was here. He seemed to notice my change in expressions as his light expression turned somber to match mine.

" Well then I guess I would be also correct when I say that I doubt you're here to play a game of Wizarding Chess with your favorite Headmaster?" The small smile reappeared and this time stayed.

" I need answers Professor." I all but whispered. He gestured for me to continue.

" We all know Voldermort isn't going anywhere anytime soon. He's growing stronger, sir. He's recruiting more and more followers, while we just sit here and watch. Watch as he kills are families and destroys all the things we've worked so hard to keep from falling apart. He's winning Headmaster. People are fearing him left and right, they won't even say his name in fear he'll hear and kill them. It's sad and pathetic."

" That it is Miss Evan's. But what do you suppose we do about it?" He inquired though he and I both knew that he already knew that I was about to say next.

" Well I'm saying that if he can fight us, why shouldn't we fight back? Why can't we fight?" I said angrily. Dumbledore stared at me with pride shining in his blue orbs before he spoke.

" I completely agree with you Lily. That's why I've decided to make an organization called the 'Order Of The Phoenix'. I wish for this organization to consist of brave men and woman who are willing to put their own life on the line to save others."

" That sounds like a perfect idea, Professor. It's just what we need to change our fate!" I said for once in a long while joyfully.

"I'm glad you feel that way Lily. And it's for that reason that I'm now going to ask you a very important question. How would you like to be the first official member of the Order?"

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><p><strong>James' Point of View :)<strong>

These last few weeks have been hectic. Those black birds were showing up left and right leaving a dark cloud of anxiety hanging over the school like the grim. This Voldermort guy was getting to close for comfort. I don't think I've ever really thought that someone would actually try- and succeed- to defy the Ministry.

Lily and I, well there really isn't a Lily and I. We've both been ignoring each other these last few months. And while I'm not exactly pleased by her blatant ignorance I know I deserve it. But what I said I meant. All of it. I do love Lily. I think some where inside of me I've always known, it just took me a while to realize it. She's all I want, all I need at this point. I know a war's brewing, we all do, and I'll be damned if I don't fight in the front lines with the guys and Lily on my sides.

Today was the last day in November, and I can't say I'm really anticipating breakfast, no one is. Breakfast is a time for the black birds. A time for silent remorse and pity for others and yourself. So when I saw the bird today, like all others I held my breathe but obviously not fast enough as the bird placed itself right in front of me and put out it's foot. I quickly unfolded the letter that sealed my fate. I don't like my fate all that much.

I didn't run out of the Hall. Though every bone in my body was urging me to run like a banshee, I couldn't bring myself to move. Instead I finished my breakfast, fully aware of the stares on my back. Once I finished I walked down to the Qudditch pitch, alone. What I didn't expect was after only about an hour of sitting on my broom more than a hundred feet off the ground, I caught the sight of short red hair blowing in the breeze.

I smiled softly to myself. I slowly let my broom descend to the floor. And I caught the scent of Lily- full of Vanilla, Mango, Caramel, and Mocha. If it was possible she looked more beautiful than ever. Standing here in front of me staring at her black and white converse and biting her soft pink lips. She was wearing a short white sundress that blew in the breeze.

" Hi." That's why I love Lily. Out of everything she could have said at that moment she say's hi. It's what I needed to hear.

" Hey," I whispered back my voice almost getting lost in the wind.

" So... did you have fun up there?" She asked me while wringing her hands together nervously.

" Yes, Lily I had a lot of fun." I said softly, while letting out a small humorless chuckle. For the first time she looked up at me a silent question passing between her and me.

" My parents." I said and she nodded.

" I'd say I'm sorry but I don't think you want to hear that right now." She spoke the truth I didn't want a sorry. I almost wondered how she knew that.

" Yeah, how do you know that?" I asked curiously.

" I-I just know what it feels like to be put through a lot." She looked wounded, and I really wanted to hug her right now but I can't.

" You seem to be taking your um parent's uh passing pretty well." She stuttered out. In all honesty my parents and I never got along. I'm not saying I don't love them and I'm not deeply hurt right now, I 'm just saying we never understood each other.

" Not really.. I just don't, well let's just say it hasn't hit me yet." I said quietly.

" Yeah I know what you mean," she scoffed out. I shot her a curious look and her unnaturally bright green eyes widened like a deer caught in the headlights. " I mean that Alice was like that it took her four days to respond to her brother's death." I nodded not fully believing her but not wanting to push anything.

" James do you need anything?" You. But when I really thought about it I only wanted one thing from Lily.

" Sing for me."

"What?" Lily asked blushing.

" Sing, Lily. Just sing. That's what I want. Need." She looked at me with a look in her eyes that I couldn't comprehend. But I didn't care about anything when she opened her mouth and once again her sweet melodic tone enveloped my thoughts.

_**Blackbird singing in the dead of night**_

_**Take these broken wings and learn to fly**_

_**All your life**_

_**You were only waiting for this moment to arise**_

_**Blackbird singing in the dead of night **_

_**Take these sunken eyes and learn to see**_

_**All your life**_

_**You were only waiting for this moment to be free**_

_**Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly **_

_**Into the light of the dark black night**_

_**Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly**_

_**Into the light of the dark black night**_

_**Blackbird singing in the dead of night**_

_**Take these broken wings and learn to fly**_

_**All your life**_

_**You were only waiting for this moment to arise**_

_**You were only waiting for this moment to arise **_

_** You were only waiting for this moment to arise **_

They both leaned forward during the last note of the song and without either of them thinking they both kissed. It was soft and sweet. Slow and melodic, like Lily's voice. James was happy yet sad. He kept thinking abut his parents but he knew that Lily, Lily was what he needed at this moment. When they broke apart, James heart swelled. Seeing Lily this close, in his arms, kissing his lips, life was meant to be this sweet. But then Lily did the unexpected, she pushed him away and...

_Ran._

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><p><em>I'll admit so far this is by far my favorite chapter, but I guess it's up to you guys. The song was obviously Blackbird sung by the Beatles. Thanks for reading! :)<em>

_3 _


	7. Leavin' On A Jet Plane

_**Smile**_

**DO NOT OWN**

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><p><em>They both leaned forward during the last note of the song and without either of them thinking they both kissed. It was soft and sweet. Slow and melodic, like Lily's voice. James was happy yet sad. He kept thinking abut his parents but he knew that Lily, Lily was what he needed at this moment. When they broke apart, James heart swelled. Seeing Lily this close, in his arms, kissing his lips, life was meant to be this sweet. But then Lily did the unexpected, she pushed him away and...<em>

_Ran._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Leaving On A Jet Plane<strong>

He kissed me.

Why did he kiss me?

Why did I kiss back?

_Why did you run?_ A small voice in the back of my head whispered.

Why did I run? Anyone in my position would. I was confused, still am actually. I mean between the kiss and talking with Dumbledore the day has been pretty hectic. I said yes of course. You know to Dumbledore's offer. But it was the catch to joining the Order that really hit me hard. I had to leave. I couldn't be Lily Evans anymore. I could no longer be best friends with Alice. I couldn't go to Hogwarts anymore. I had to leave for training like the rest of the members who were to join.

I always used to think people were talking shit when they said something would hit them like a ton of bricks. But when I saw James, when I-I felt his soft warm lips hesitantly hover over mine before crashing down I realized just what I was leaving behind. Not as much as some but enough to make me rethink my decision. But I wouldn't turn back. I couldn't. They needed me.

I touched my lips lightly, they were slightly chapped considering it was early November and the cold was beginning to sink in. They weren't warm anymore, they were cold and hard so unlike James'. I don't really know what I felt for James, so don't ask. But what I do know is that I care about him and despite all the cruel shit he's done to me I know he cares too.

But I don't want him to care. I don't want anyone to care about me. Because caring leads to feelings, and feelings lead to pain. Cold heartless pain, and regret. I've seen the way relationships turn out and I know that this Cinderella fairy-tale bullshit people throw at us is fake. You'll never have a 'happily ever after' because it doesn't exist. Not in this world at least.

I sigh and looked down at the grounds of Hogwarts. Being a loner in this school paid off in terms of figuring out all the nooks and crannies this school has to offer. And the one I'm at right now happens to be one of my personal favorites. It was actually the first one I discovered at the end of first year. God I remember so clearly.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback:<em>

_Why do I always do this to myself. Why do I even bother trying to fit in. I know I never can. I wasn't meant to. **He** made that perfectly clear._ _**They** made that perfectly clear a long time ago. I shivered at the thought of them and unconsciously covered my arms over my stomach. I was meant to live in the shadows. I knew that. Everyone knew that. I couldn't even call myself a wallflower as I could never be a flower. My name is so misleading,** they** always told me that._

_I always believed them. I mean why shouldn't I. My hair was an ugly bright red color, like a tomato. And who likes tomatoes, that's right no one. It's the one food that you turn up your nose at and throw off your sandwich. I'm a nasty tomato. And then there's my wimpy body. No muscles just a lanky bone-y body. And my eyes don't even get me started. They were the only thing that I ever really liked about myself the only thing that he, they didn't make a nasty remark about. But as I look at them today they're not the same. They're ugly just like the rest of me. They're unnaturally bright. Like a blazing fire though instead of red it's green. _

_I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice I had started to wander off away from the Gryfinndor common room until I ran smack into a wall. Well I thought it was a wall. But after I picked myself off the cold hard floor I realized it was a door. A door that blended into the wall, and if it wasn't for the small almost unnoticeable handle I never would've even known it was a door. _

_I slowly turned the handle and I wasn't surprised to find the door a little jammed. I could only imagine the last time someone had opened it. It was probably the one who made it. After a little bit of pushing I finally got the thing to open, though it resulted in again me on the floor only this time I was flat on my face rather than my ass. After I let out a few choice words and a rather loud grunt I pushed myself off the floor and brushed off my robes. I let out a slight gasp as I took in my surroundings. _

_It was beautiful, in a rather odd way. There was no color, actually it was black as night, besides the faint glow of the stars. Yes, across the room there was a ginormous window that took up nearly the whole wall. And there was a rather comfy looking window sill resting below it. I took a few steps towards the window and hesitantly sat down. I lightly touched the cold glass with my fingertips and despite the freezing temperature I felt warmth. It was an undeniable sensation, the heat rolled off the window and onto my hand and it coursed through the rest of my body. _

_For the first time in a very long time I felt safe. Safe from **him**. From **them**. From **me**. And for another first that night as I slowly leaned my head against the warm glass and fell asleep instead of dreaming of horrible nightmares I dreamed of this room and this window and these stars. _

_Every night I returned to the door. It was almost funny though because even though it had a perfect view of the Black Lake when I went outside and looked up to where the large window should be it was never there. So I did a little research on the making and building of Hogwarts and still nothing came up. I even was so bold as to look through the restricted section every night searching for clues that i'd never find. For once I couldn't find an answer and it bugged me._

_But I never told a soul about the place. Because as selfish as it seems I didn't want others there. I didn't want my beautiful sanctuary to turn into a place where everyone goes to have a party or snog their latest girlfriend. I refused to have it turn into that. Over the next few years I came back to the warmth but I always wondered how the place came to be. _

_End of Flashback:_

* * *

><p>So here I am again, and even years later, the warmth still finds a way to comfort me. But this warmth is so different from the warmth I wanted, <em>needed. <em>It was a minuscule pleasure in comparison to the way James' warm kiss radiated through my body. I liked James, more than I should. Especially after all he's done... all I've done. But I know I have to leave. I can't have him, I never would've been able to anyways. So why kid myself, right?

James was destined to marry a beautiful yet ditzy blonde who would give him beautiful children and a warm life. Not me. I could never give him what he deserves not that he'd want me too anyways. So I'll leave, tonight. I'll probably never see him again. Alice, I'm not so worried about. I don't know how but I have a feeling she knows. She always asked me why I never told her of my home life. And when I'd answer her with a 'it's nothing important' she'd give me this knowing look. Like she knew what I was hiding something and she'd figure it out. I hope she never does. I wouldn't want her to remember me by that horrible story.

So it was now as I stood gazing off at the direction of the only home I'd ever really had, that I three teardrops fall. One for Alice, because she's the only one who ever believed in me, because she's my sister. One for my horrible past that always seems to find a new way to haunt me. And one for James, for giving me the most memorable moment of my life. I almost felt like someone should preserve those tears like that of a mermaid, considering it might just be the last time I ever get to cry.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring all we know for sure is what was in the past, and for most of us that's some pretty awful shit.

_All my bag's are packed I'm ready to go_

_I'm standin' here outside your door_

_I hate to wake you up to say goodbye_

_But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn_

_The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn_

_Already so lonesome I could die_

_So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go_

_Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh, Baby I hate to go_

_There's so many times I've let you down_

_So many time's I've played around_

_I'll tell you now they don't mean a thing_

_Every place I go I'll think of you_

_Every song I sing I'll sing for you_

_When I come back I'll bring your wedding ring_

_So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go_

_Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh, Babe I hate to go_

_Now the time has come to leave you _

_One more time let me kiss you_

_Close your eyes I'll be on my way_

_Dream about the days to come_

_When I won't have to leave alone_

_About the times I won't have to say_

_So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go_

_Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh, Baby I hate to go_

_Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh, Baby I hate to go_

__I thought of James, one last time. The way he'd smile. The way he'd laugh. The little dimple he only had on his left cheek. I knew he'd hate me forever for running away, both literally and figuratively. He'd never forgive me and I can't blame him for that. As I wouldn't forgive me either. But as I slowly walked away from the school and in the direction of my future I felt a wave of uncertainty hit over me. I don't know if I'll ever feel the warmth again.

That was my last thought before I apparated into the darkness and to this day I don't know if I was talking about my window or James.

* * *

><p><em>The song's a little cheesy I know but It fit the circumstance well I think. And I know some of you must hate me for the plot that's about to take place but we all know they'll get together... eventually. :) Please review it gives me more of a reason to update faster! <em>

_333333_

_Eli :) _


	8. Home

**Smile**

**Do Not Own**

* * *

><p><em>I thought of James, one last time. The way he'd smile. The way he'd laugh. The little dimple he only had on his left cheek. I knew he'd hate me forever for running away, both literally and figuratively. He'd never forgive me and I can't blame him for that. As I wouldn't forgive me either. But as I slowly walked away from the school and in the direction of my future I felt a wave of uncertainty hit over me. I don't know if I'll ever feel the warmth again.<em>

_That was my last thought before I apparated into the darkness and to this day I don't know if I was talking about my window or James._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Eight: Home<strong>_

**Three Months Later… **

Agony. Pain. Destruction.

That's all you see in this business. I really don't know what I expected when I left but it wasn't this. I mean the long hours and the damage to myself, I can take. But this, I can't do it. I can't be the bearer of bad news. I can't go to some poor woman and tell her her son or husband is never coming home. I won't do it.

They can train me for anything else but not that. Never that. So as I stared at Alastor I knew I had one of two choices. Number One) Continue here with my training or Two) Go back to Hogwarts to assist Dumbledore in his training of the soon to be members of the Order in the school.

Neither choice seemed good to me as if I went back I knew there would be things I'd have to face. Things that I'm not sure I'm ready for. But anyways it's better than what Moody wants me to do, so I'm going back home. After three long months I'm going back.

So that's why I'm here now. Standing terrified in front of the giant doors. By walking through that door, I'll have to resume where I left off. Classes, teachers, students. They'll want explanations, but can I give it to them? I guess I'll have too.

Taking a deep intake of breath, I opened the door. I wasn't surprised to find an empty corridor as it was late afternoon on a Friday and the students were still most likely in class. And for that I was eternally grateful.

I made my way to Dumbledore's office, and couldn't help but let the feeling of warmth and safety envelop me as I walked down the ever-familiar halls. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. I made it to the gargoyle, and after saying a lot of muggle _and_ wizarding candies I finally got the dang thing to open.

I didn't even bother knocking, knowing he wouldn't care. But as I pushed open the door I immediately wanted to crawl into some hole when I saw just who was in this room.

**_LJ_**

Gone. Vanished. Disappeared.

It was like one second she was here in my arms and the next she ran off and apparently doesn't come back. I remember staring after her hurt and abandoned when she ran away, but slightly at ease knowing that tomorrow I'd see here and could talk to her.

But no, I didn't see her. I didn't talk to her. Because she was _gone_. Or at least that's what a tear stricken Alice had told me when I asked. I remember the feeling of my whole world closing in on me when those words left her mouth.

The numbness, the pain, the anger… none of it would go away. I was numb because I knew that the kiss we shared could very well be the only one we ever would. I was in pain knowing that she would just up and leave like that, no explanation no note. Nothing. I was angry because I knew she felt something for me too—the kiss had proven that—and still she felt it necessary to leave and take my heart with her?

I was a little surprised when Dumbledore asked me to come to his office today. And when I got here and he asked me to join some group that's fighting against Voldermort I immediately jumped at the chance to help. He told me that tonight would be the first meeting for the people in Hogwarts who were also part of the Order—the rest of the Marauders included.

He told me about how he and someone who had left Hogwarts earlier last year was going to be helping with the training and she was actually going to resume the education that she left behind as well. I wasn't all that interested; I haven't been interested in anything since she left.

My life had basically turned into the same boring thing. Get up. Do usual morning things. Eat breakfast. Go to school. Eat lunch. Do homework. Pull a small prank with the guys. Eat dinner. Snog some random girl in a broom closet. Go to sleep. Boring right?

The whole snogging thing is the only thing that has changed since she left. I never really know who I'm snogging as all I can think about is _her _while I kiss them. _Her_ lips. _Her _smile. How much better it felt to kiss _her_. _Her_ red hair. _Her_ green eyes. _Her_ beautiful laugh. _Her _beautiful everything. It was nauseating and pathetic, but I couldn't change it.

But just before I was about to leave the Headmaster's office the door shot open and both he and I turned to the door. I felt my breath intake as I stared at the woman I loved. The woman who broke my heart.

**LJ**

Him.

Of all the people who I would happen to bump into in the Headmaster's office it would be the one person I hoped to not have to see until necessary. My smile dropped at the sight of his hurt and confused expression. And it took everything in me not to run over to him and kis—no bad Lily! No thoughts of kissing James Potter. He can do better; he will do better than me.

I could feel the water in my eyes as I turned away from him to look at Dumbledore. He stared at me knowingly.

" Lily! You're here, finally. I was just telling James about joining the Order, he agreed of course." No. NO. NO! He-he can't… no. He'll get hurt. He'll die. Something will happen it's too dangerous he can't.

" Well if you two wouldn't mind it would be best if you were leaving. Lily, I expect you still know how to get to your old room?" I nodded at him blankly as James and I exited the room and walked down the long flight of stairs. He didn't even last two seconds before he had turned to me, glaring at me coolly with his gorgeous hazel eyes.

" So Lily how've you been? You know it's funny because I don't remember you telling anyone about you leaving. And don't even get me started on you leaving to join the order. Are you crazy you could have been hurt Lily! You could have died." He started stuttering towards the end, and he looked so defeated that I couldn't bear to look him in the eye.

" I had to leave, James." I whispered quietly. In a split second he had my back against the wall, his hands on either side of my face and his face so close that I could feel his icy mint-y breath.

" You didn't have to." He whispered in a deadly tone that made me shiver slightly. " Do you realize how many people you hurt? Alice, she went ballistic cried her eyes out for days upon days. Sirius and Remus were going out of their minds thinking that someone had taken you. But I-I knew better. I knew you had left. I just didn't know why." He took a deep breath and continued.

" At first I thought you had left because of me, because of the kiss. I was devastated to think that you had used me, played me like your own personal deck of cards." I tried to interrupt him but he put his fingers over my lips and left them there.

" I cried Lily. I never cry but you-you made me. I felt my heart literally fall from my chest so I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed some random girl and I snogged her breathless. And this continued everyday, sometimes more than once. But you want to know one thing hat always remained the same? No matter who the girl actually was I always imagined it was you."

I gasped as he told me about his many broom closet adventures with different girls. I didn't like the idea of him kissing someone else. But it was inevitable, for he had and he would continue to. The thing that really threw me off guard though was the fact that he imagined _me_ as he kissed _them_.

"James… I-I," He cut me off with his lips. His horribly soft and warm lips. I know I should have pushed him off. But I couldn't. Instead I let him kiss me breathless like he had all those other girls. I let his tongue fight mine in dominance. I could feel his man hood grow hard on my thigh and I blushed knowing that I had, had that effect on him.

He pulled away. And just stared at me, almost knowingly. Like he knew that I was too much of a coward to pull away. Like he knew that once this little make out session was over nothing was going to change and so he walked away.

And as I stood breathless and tired, staring after him I knew it would be harder than I ever imagined it could be to let him go.

_Another summer day _

_Has come and gone away_

_In Paris and Rome_

_But I wanna go home_

_May be surrounded by _

_A million people _

_I still feel all alone_

_Just wanna go home_

_Oh, I miss you _

_You know_

_And I've been keeping _

_All the letters that I wrote to you_

_Each one a line or two_

"_I'm fine baby how are you?"_

_Well I would send them _

_But I know it's just not enough_

_My words were cold and flat_

_And you deserve more than that_

_Another aeroplane_

_Another sunny place_

_I'm lucky I know_

_But I wanna go home_

_I got to go home_

_Let me go home…_

_I'm just to far_

_From where you are_

_I wanna come home_

_And I feel like _

_I'm living someone else's life_

_It's like I just stepped outside_

_When everything was going right_

_And I know just why_

_You could not_

_Come along with me_

_This was not your dream_

_But you always believed in me_

_Another winter day_

_Has come and gone away_

_And even Paris and Rome_

_And I wanna go home_

_Let me go home…_

_And I'm surrounded by _

_A million people _

_I still feel all alone_

_Let me go home_

_Oh I miss you,_

_You know_

_Let me go home…_

_I've had my run_

_Baby I'm done_

_I gotta go home_

_Let me go home_

_It'll all be alright_

_I'll be home to night_

_**I'm coming back home…**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks for reading hope you liked this chapter. Song by Michael Buble 'Home'<strong>_

_**3**_

_**Katie :)**_


	9. We Can Make It Work

**Smile**

**Disclaimer: Do Not Own**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Previous Chapter:<em>**

_"James… I-I," He cut me off with his lips. His horribly soft and warm lips. I know I should have pushed him off. But I couldn't. Instead I let him kiss me breathless like he had all those other girls. I let his tongue fight mine in dominance. I could feel his man hood grow hard on my thigh and I blushed knowing that I had, had that effect on him._

_He pulled away. And just stared at me, almost knowingly. Like he knew that I was too much of a coward to pull away. Like he knew that once this little make out session was over nothing was going to change and so he walked away. _

_And as I stood breathless and tired, staring after him I knew it would be harder than I ever imagined it could be to let him go._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine: We can make it work<strong>

Everyone accepted me back with open arms, besides James. And in all honesty I didn't except him too. I didn't want him too. I didn't deserve too.

Every night James would have some new snogging partner. But he never kept them overnight. By nightfall they would leave and the next evening a new girl would get her lucky chance to snog the 'One and Only James Potter'.

The worst part of all this crap wasn't even the fact that James was snogging those girls—though that did hurt. It was more of the looks that the rest of the Marauders and Alice would give me every time James would walk by. It was a sympathetic and angry look all mixed into one.

Sympathetic because they knew I loved James. But they also knew I could never have him. And angry because I'm the reason he's like this. If I just would have stayed and been his perfect girlfriend none of this would have happened.

But I also would have eventually had my heart broken by him when he realized he could do so much better than me. That he could have some perfect fucking blonde who would tend to his every need and be a stay at home mother. He needed someone like that. He needed someone that I couldn't be.

Tonight was another Order of the Phoenix meeting, but it's going to be a bit different. Tonight we'll be going to the Black Lake to strip into our undergarments and see who can with stand the freezing cold temperatures. I had to do it once. And now I have to do it again and I'm not looking forward to it.

So here we all were making our way down the path to the Black Lake. Dumbledore couldn't make it to this meeting so Hagrid is going to be our supervisor. Once at the black lake I had everyone make a circle around me and I began to tell him or her just why we were out here.

" You're all probably wondering why you're here and let me tell you now no we are not going into the Forbidden Forest. Though we will be going into the black lake. And before you all totally freak out, let me tell you how this is going to play out. We will all strip down to our undergarments and will see how long we can each stay in the freezing cold water. This is merely a test on how determined and stubborn you are to not freeze to death. Let's see who shall win."

At that moment people started to strip, me included. I stripped down into my black bra and red boy shorts. Most of the girls here however weren't as lucky as me and were stuck in lacy bras and thongs—Alice included. Once we were all stripped I started to countdown.

"3,"

"2…"

"1!"

Everyone took off towards the Black Lake with immense speed. I felt my whole body go numb as the freezing water stung my skin like knives. Many people were already heading back to shore but I decided to stick it out. Now the only ones left were Alice, Frank, Sirius, Remus, James, and I.

We all kept looking at each other expectantly and eventually Alice and Frank both called it quits with Remus quickly following suit. By now my lips were blue and chapped and I couldn't stop shivering. James and Sirius were in the same position as me.

Sirius left too, and I couldn't have been more pissed at him for leaving me alone with James. James was trying to be manly and not let his pain shine through but I knew him better than that.

It was then that I felt something wrap around my leg. At first I just thought it was James being stupid but then I realized it couldn't be him doing it cause he was to far away. And before I knew it I was being pulled down into the depths of the Black Lake.

My whole world was going black. I felt my body lose all the oxygen it could. I could hear my heartbeat slowing. And right as I was about to think I was dead, I felt a hand envelop mine and tug hard. Whatever it was that had grabbed my leg let go and I was being dragged up to the surface.

I took a huge gulp of air the moment I could and desperately clung to the chest of James Potter. My Savior.

When one dry land we were both handed a towel but instead of keeping his for himself he wrapped both around me and carried me swiftly towards the Gryfinnador Common Room.

Once we had reached our destination he sat me down on his lap right in front of the fire and just watched as the flames burned the wood.

" I'm sorry." James whispered in my ear causing me to turn and look at him surprised. Despite the circumstances I could tell that my being on him like that affected him in very hormonal ways.

" You have nothing to be sorry for." I whispered back looking him directly in the eyes.

" But I do. I only snogged those girls to make you jealous and now-well now that I now you're not I promise I'll stop. I'll let you be. Let you live your life happily with somebody else." He was getting chocked up and I could see the moisture forming in his eyes.

"I was jealous." I murmured quietly to him, though I don't think he heard it.

"What?" James asked surprised. Obviously he had heard me.

"James I'll never be happy with anyone else." I whispered.

"What are you saying Lily?" He looked at me expectantly.

"I don't know." I said.

"Are you saying you want to be with me?" He asked desperately.

"I-we… James we can't."

" Just answer my question." After a very long pause I answered him truthfully.

" Yes." I whispered. " But we—,"

"We'll find a way." He said roughly, before slamming his soft chapped lips onto my cold chapped lips.


	10. Smile

**Smile (:**

**Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN!**

* * *

><p><em>Previous Chapter—<em>

_"Are you saying you want to be with me?" He asked desperately._

_"I-we… James we can't."_

_" Just answer my question." After a very long pause I answered him truthfully._

_" Yes." I whispered. " But we—,"_

_"We'll find a way." He said roughly, before slamming his soft chapped lips onto my cold chapped lips._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten—Smile<strong>

_**July 17th, 1979**_

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of _

_James Harold Potter_

_And_

_Lily Rose Evans_

She was shaking. Literally shaking. No matter what any body said to her to try and calm her nerves it just didn't work.

"Lily, sweetie you need to relax. He loves you. You love him. You guys are going to live a long lovely life together, you hear me?" Alice lightly spoke as she stroked her best friends bright red hair.

Alice couldn't help but chuckle at the stupidity of the situation they were in. Lily, Miss calm and collected was letting her nerves get the best of her. She had this crazy idea that James was going to duck out of the wedding any second. _Yeah, like that's going to happen…_ Alice thought to herself.

"How do you know that Alice! James is probably about to call it quits as we speak! He-he's probably thinking about how if he goes through with this it's going to be the worst mistake of his life." Lily was now pacing. Thank Merlin she was wearing waterproof mascara or else we'd all have been screwed.

" Look Lily you need to chill. James loves you, always has always will. Don't let these stupid worries get to you. I can only imagine that James is counting down the seconds until he finally can finally introduce you as Mrs. James Potter." Alice said sweetly, laughing lightly as she knew that's exactly what he was doing.

"More like counting down the seconds until he realizes he'll be stuck me for the rest of his life." Lily said sadly as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. Alice shook her head and was about to respond before she heard a knock at the door.

" Come in," she said loudly, seeing as Lily was in no place to say anything. The small white door opened slightly and in poked the head of none other than James Potter himself. Alice shot up from her seat and ran to the door.

"James! What are you doing here? Go! Get!" Alice said loudly trying her best to shove the door closed. James however stayed put. He eyed little Alice and responded.

" The guys told me my love was crying." He said simply before pushing the door wide open and walking towards Lily's shaking side. Alice huffed and muttered something about 'this coming back and biting him in the ass someday', before walking out of the room.

" Love," James whispered as he got down on the floor next to his soon-to-be-bride. He gently stroked her face, trying to get her to lift her head and look at him. "Come on baby, show me your beautiful face." He lifted her chin a little until he could see her face. Lily's eyes however were still downcast.

" James," Lily whispered helplessly. " Do you remember earlier this year when I told you that I couldn't be what you needed or deserved?" Lily asked. James nodded slowly a frown evident on his handsome face.

" I wasn't lying. I-I can't be the beautiful housewife that you deserve. I can't spend my life looking after the kids while I wait for you to come home from a long dangerous day of work." Lily said slowly. James grabbed her hand.

" What are you trying to say, Lily?" He asked confusedly.

" You deserve better! I'm going to be fighting too, James. I won't be able to be at home when you come back. James I can't be your wife." Lily said with tears streaming down her face. She still couldn't bring herself to look at him. James heart broke as those words left her mouth.

" Lily Evans, you are everything I could ever want and need. You're so stubborn and hard headed sometimes but I love you anyways. I love the way you don't need to be perfect in front of me. That you're not afraid to cry on my shoulder after a long tiring day. I love the way your green eyes sparkle in the moonlight. And the way you always find a way to brighten my day. Lily Evans I love you. More than I ever thought possible. And I'll be damned if I let you slip away from me again."

Lily looked up at James, all tears gone. She took in his sexy body in the gorgeous black tux. She stared at his high cheekbones and plump lips. And finally her gaze settled on his warm hazel eyes that were full of love. She couldn't help herself she brought her lips onto to his and kissed him passionately.

" James I'm sorry to say, but I think you're stuck with me for the rest of eternity." James chuckled and lightly kissed her nose.

" Love, I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

><p><em><strong>July 31<strong>__**st**__** 1980**_

* * *

><p>"Push!"<p>

"Ahhh!"

"Ouch"

Cries were heard all through out the hospital room on the stormy night that was July 31st. But alas the cry everyone wishes to hear still wasn't heard of yet.

Lily, in all of her glory, was screaming at the top pf her lungs. James, who next to her was holding her hand, was in great pain as well. Both from Lily's piercing cries and grip. You see James and Lily didn't wait to long to bake on in the oven. Not even three months into their marriage Lily realized they were expecting.

Then, suddenly another wail was added to the mix. The baby came out healthy and smoothly and it didn't take long before the sleeping baby wrapped in a blue cotton blanket was handed to his mother's waiting arms.

James and Lily were both lying on the hospital bed admiring their little bundle of joy. Talking in hushed tones about what they should name him.

" Harry." Lily said softly, "After your dad."

" Sure, Love." James whispered back while kissing her forehead.

" And I was thinking maybe his middle name could be James. You know after his dad." Lily said while smiling up at James. He grin widely back down at her.

"Harry James Potter. Has a nice ring to it." James said. Lily laughed at him and lightly shoved his arm.

"You do know that Sirius is the godfather right?" James said whole-heartedly. Lily faked surprise and gasped.

" Great now my baby's doomed to fail." Lily said sarcastically. And James rolled his eyes.

" Love, any kid of ours doesn't even have the capability of failure."

* * *

><p><em><strong>October 31st, 1981<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Lily run, take Harry and leave!"<p>

Everything happened in a blur. But without hesitation Lily picked Harry up and raced up the stairs. After getting into the nursery, Lily place him in his crib. Lily strained to hear what was going on downstairs.

She didn't need to hear however. Because before she knew it a bright green light filled their house. And she had to fight the tears from flowing. _Harry_, she reminded herself. _Harry needs you…_

Lily stood her ground as Voldermort made his way towards her. She'd be lying if she said this was the first time she had faced him. But she could truthfully say this is the first time she's faced him and had the fear of losing something much more valuable than her own life. She already had.

" Move aside, Lily." He whispered in his snake-like voice. " I'm not hear to kill you." He made it perfectly clear as to why he was here.

"No." Lily said fiercely.

" Then you leave me no choice." Another green light ran through the house. Followed by the piercing wails of baby Harry. As Voldermort raised his wand to kill Harry he felt an eerily feeling, as if unknown forces were working against him and his spell.

The last thing Voldermort saw before turning into nothing more than a shadow of himself, was baby Harry's crying face with a newly forming lightening scar.

That night changed the Wizarding World forever. Some cried, but most cheered. For he was finally defeated. People no longer had to hide in fear anymore. Or so they thought. Books should be written of Lily and James' life, but their child's life should be enough for now.

If there is one thing Lily and James taught the Wizarding World it would be to smile. So smile, for Harry, and Sirius, and Remus, and Alice, and Frank, and Dumbledore, and everyone else who pushed those lovebirds together. Who despite the odds fought for one reason—hope. Hope that one day they could see the type of love Lily and James had for each other everywhere.

Smile for the known and unknown. Smile for the seen and unseen. Smile for the ones who fought bravely and died heroically. Smile for happiness. For hope. And most of smile for love.

**THE END**

* * *

><p><em>Smile though your heart is aching,<em>

_Smile even though it's breaking._

_When there are clouds in the sky,_

_You'll get by._

_If you smile through your pain and sorrow._

_Smile, and maybe tomorrow_

_You'll see the sun come shining through._

_For you,_

_Light up your face with gladness._

_Hide every trace of sadness._

_Although a tear, may be ever so near_

_That's the time, you must keep on trying._

_Smile,_

_What's the use of crying? _

_You'll find that life is still worth while,_

_If you just…_

_Smile._

_-Smile, Charlie Chaplin_

_**Lily and James Wedding-.com/cgi/set?id=4889318**_


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